Welcomed with Open Arms

Imagine feeling unwelcome in your own home.  Now imagine being thirteen years old and afraid to go home.  As a young girl, Abby often felt that way.  Her mother was abusive, and Abby felt lost, alone and unloved during her childhood.  Once she began rebelling and drinking, she was even more afraid to go home for fear of the punishment she would receive. 

At the age of thirteen, Abby was introduced to crystal meth.  Because she desperately wanted to fit in with this new group, she found ways to sneak out, steal money and access drugs at any cost.  It wasn’t long after that first experiment with meth that Abby lost interest in fitting in and wanted only to use more of the drug that they had introduced her to.  At that point she began spending all her time alone getting high, nearly killing herself with the continued abuse.

“By the time I was sixteen, I turned into my worst enemy. I was in a state where I just didn't care.  I just wanted to die.”

One evening when she was in this very dark state, a friend called and asked her to go to the mall.  Abby credits that phone call with saving her life and giving her a moment of clarity.  She slowed down her drug abuse and became more social for a brief time.  During that period, she met her boyfriend.  When they spent time together, she stayed clean and didn’t reveal to him the darker side of her addiction.  She learned that she was expecting a baby and stayed sober throughout her pregnancy.  But only four months after her baby girl was born, Abby turned back to drugs.  She got in an altercation with her boyfriend that resulted in her leaving their home.

“I couldn’t be a mother to her.  I had to say goodbye to my daughter because I was doing crystal meth constantly.  I hit rock bottom.”

At that point, Abby was homeless and alone.  She cried for her daughter and found herself using drugs even more to try and erase the pain of losing her.  The drugs eventually began causing extreme paranoia and confusion.  She felt that she was being followed and even removed her shoes when she convinced herself that her pursuers implanted a tracking device in them.  So, with nothing but the clothes on her back, Abby walked down the street where she had grown up feeling desperate, lonely and afraid.

She approached a neighbor who told her that there was help for her at a facility nearby where they had walked with her grandmother as young children.  Abby left and began walking in that direction toward Maple Street.  She saw a woman and her daughter sitting in front of Maple House and longed to stop for help.  In the street in front of the house, Abby saw a swarm of butterflies that surrounded her giving her a sense of calm that things would work out.

“Those butterflies gave me peace.”

At the park later that day, she met people who brought her to church.  There, Abby began to sense that God was with her and that there was hope for her.  She unfortunately found herself returning to drugs the next day.  This time, she knew she needed help and ran straight to the Fontana Police Station.  The officer kindly searched online for resources for her.  When he mentioned Cedar House, Abby immediately knew that was the one.  She remembered that she had walked by that facility in her neighborhood as a child and connected that her neighbor had told her about the program.

“The doors were wide open for me.  Everyone was so warm and welcoming.  They accepted me just the way I was.  They never judged me.  I wasn’t embarrassed.  I wasn’t ashamed.” 

She went through withdrawal management for a week and felt such relief being surrounded by not only the compassionate staff who cared for her but also many individuals who were going through the same trials she was facing.
“I found rest.  I found safety.  I found comfort.”
Abby moved to Maple House and spent the next month there receiving care and treatment.  When other residents had visitors, Abby had none because she had pushed everyone away during the dark days of her addiction. 
“The tools and the people there gave me strength.  I didn’t feel alone.  I didn’t get a visitor for a whole month, and I didn’t feel alone because of the love every staff member from Cedar House to Maple House showed me.” 
The Maple House staff guided her to recovery and renewing her relationships.  She reconciled with her boyfriend and daughter.  A year after graduating from Cedar House, they were married and now have an apartment of their own.  Abby is proud of the mother she has become for her daughter and the life that she has with her family.  She is involved with her church’s Grace Ministry in which she reaches out to women on the streets to give them hope. She’s grateful that her experience allows her to testify in this way.
“I will never in my life forget what Cedar House and Maple House did for me.  They give a foundation to the lost, the black sheep.  It’s an awesome foundation.  They gave me tools and spiritual aspects.  I’m so grateful.  They changed my life so completely.  They showed me that I have worth; that I can grow; and that everything’s possible.”